2008-10-27 - 11:17 a.m.
Again, I’m wondering if there is real love there, real passion, real desire on her part. Is she actually wanting me, wishing for me to be there, or is she using me to get out of her parents house and be a live-in babysitter for the kids?
Is she looking at me as just a ticket to motivate her and get some of the things she wants or does she actually want to spend her life with me?
I mean, in some ways, I get more “passion” from a kiss from “A” than I do her.
I can’t read her. And it bothers me.
I'm tired of living in flux. I want solid ground.
I work for an asshole. His way of "managing" is to consistantly point out your "faults and failures" while assuming that the things you accomplish are what you should be doing in the first place.
He runs in constant crisis mode and has no idea of how long things take to do nor does he have any sense of prioritization. Everything MUST be done NOW!
I want to quit. It's not worth travelling 1 hour to and 1.5 hours from work on a daily basis... but I need the cash and jobs are getting scarce. Hell, I can't even seem to garner a second job to assist in saving for my potential move.
On a bright note, I got my gas turned back on this past Saturday, so I can cook and take showers at my house instead of at my son's.
