2011-06-13 - 10:11 p.m.
Once more, I wonder if I have the capacity to love someone with the same intensity that I did with one person, perhaps two, in my past. One of those loves passed away almost two years ago, the other is simply dead to me. It seems my heart is very closed off and I'm withdrawing.
With that second love, I realize now that I wasn't so much in love with her as I was in love with what I thought she was. It made me blind to some of the things that would have driven me away from another woman (and that drives me away from potential lovers now).
I had so much more tolerance back then. I have so little of it now.
