pyroguysr's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- FLORIDA; Of Bugs And Lizards Henry Lin, M.D., pediatrician extrordinaire, is my gracious and fun host down here in Weston, FL. He is gracious for allowing me to spend 10 days at his house. He�s fun because he�s willing to argue politics with me and not take offense, especially in area�s where we differ. If you look at a map, just follow I-595 from Ft. Lauderdale west to I-75. Right at the border of the Everglades, you�ll find Weston. Weston is reclaimed swamp land � as is most of Southern Florida. Now, Weston is filled with hoity-toity gated communities and yes, Henry lives in one of these. He has a very nice house overlooking a lake in his backyard and a swimming pool. I like Henry. He�s a cool guy. He�s just a bit� um� untidy. Wait a minute! A doctor? UNTIDY? Isn�t that an oxymoron? OK. Henry is a packrat and a collector. He doesn�t delegate authority well so he never has time to finish projects at home. So far, I�ve fixed his dishwasher, his garbage disposal, cleaned out his pool, changed lightbulbs throughout the house and now I am working to fix the door and toilet in the �cabana bathroom.� As I said, Henry is a packrat and collector. He collects role-playing games, board games and other things to resell on E-Bay when he notices an opportunity. He�s a typical doctor though. In my 20+ years in the financial services field, I�ve never met a doctor that was really a good businessman. (They think they are, but when you find a successful doctor, you usually find a well-organized and resourceful spouse or significant other doing the management work. Henry has neither an office manager nor a wife. He is kinda cute, girls, but a bit on the shy side. We also share the same tastes in women� short, petite, small-breasted redheads!) All the stuff I�ve written above simply mean that Henry�s house is� well� less than neat. OK, he has piles of boxes, files, books, artwork, games, packing material and paperwork all throughout the house. There are barely enough spaces on any level surface to put down a cup or a can of soda. You don�t have floorspace, you have aisles to walk through. Tables, chairs, desks, credenza�s are all covered in junk. He won�t let me touch those piles because, while he may not be neat, he �knows where everything is� (which explains why he�s been looking for a receipt for his laptop computer ever since I�ve been here! LOL). Now, I�m not the biggest neat-freak in the world, but I do like things tidy. One place I just couldn�t have a mess was in the kitchen. I like to cook, so I�ve cleaned that place up for him � no, wait� I cleaned it up for ME. There are bug carcasses everywhere. I�ve been vacuuming them up for the past week. All sorts of bugs, from spiders and beetles to flies and roaches. Yes, it�s a little disconcerting, but as Henry keeps telling me, �This is Southern Florida! This property was swamp 13 years ago!� The other day, when Kat and I arrived, we had another visitor in the house � a lizard. It looks like the little chameleon that I owned when I was a kid, but it�s not. It does change color slightly and turns white at night, but for the most part, it�s brown. Now, I�m not up on my amphibious creatures and I�m not sure what to call it, but I laughed when it scurried across my path in the living room. Kat and I tried to catch the spritely little bugger, but he was too fast for us and found a crack to hide in. Later that night, Henry came home and found the creature sleeping on the blinds in the living room. He looked at it and smiled. I scooted it outside. �What did you do that for?� he asked. �I thought you hired exterminators to get rid of the lizards.� �No, I hire exterminators to get rid of the bugs, mice, rats and raccoons. The lizards are fine. They eat the bugs and that keeps out the mice, rats and raccoons.� �Oh.� Joey hasn�t been back for a few days. Today, I opened the door to the patio and he scurried inside. I chased him for 10 minutes and finally caught him. He stared at me, breathing heavily. �Don�t worry, you little bugger,� I told him, �I�m not gonna eat you!� (I mean, they may taste like chicken fried in fish oil, but there just wasn�t enough meat on this little guy!) Joey looked at me and cocked his head. �Nope, lil buddy, I�m gonna bring you into the house and let you have free reign. I figured this was best. I placed Joey on the countertop and he slithered off to a safe hidey-hole. A half hour later, he�s still there. �Go eat the bugs, Joey.� He�d better. Henry nuked a sealed meal in the microwave last night� when he opened the door, we found a dead roach next to the dish. Now I remember why I don�t want to live down here. 1:51 p.m. - 2004-03-16 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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