pyroguysr's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Hemorrhoids FROM THE COMPUTERS AT THE BCPL: (Dateline: Towson MD) Whew! It RAINED on Saturday! Poured for most of the morning... Friday night was damned wet as well! Poor day on Saturday as the crowds were very thin... and not much better on Sunday. We discovered all the holes in the roof and where they leak. Hopefully I can take care of that this week along with replacing light fixtures, adding shelves, fixing my car windows and getting stuff done. Weatherly, our neighbor in the next booth, was discussing "stupid patron questions" with us. Down at the Scarborough Ren Fair in Waxahachie Texas, she wore a sign that read "Stupid Questions Answered: $1" Someone would inevitably come along and ask her "Do I ask the question or do you?" Her reply: "That'll be $1" We have a double-sized dragon called a "Zard". He's about 2 Ft tall and sits nicely upon my head when I walk around. I get all the drunks coming up to me and saying either "Did you know there is a dragon on your head?" or "Is that a Dragon hat?" I figured out an answer, but some of the performers at faire don't like it because it's rather rude and, as they remind me, it's a family show. Anyway, it usually goes like this: Hey dude, did you know that there is a dragon on your head?" "It's not a dragon on my head, I'm a hemorrhoid hanging from it's arse!" This usually stuns them enough with a fit of laughter so that I can calmly walk away. Sometimes, they persist, though: But the Hemorrhoid talks! "Yes, the dragon ate something that didn't agree with him... AND I STILL DON'T!" And if they still persist (or if they're a CUTE female kind of drunk that will give me a kiss for being so witty *sighs* there is far too much jailbait at faire!!) I'll say: Last week it was a prince he ate, but that ended up being a royal pain in the arse... I'm just a common one! Kat and Gumby feel that my puns should definitely be banned. Love you all. See you soon at chat! 8:26 p.m. - 2004-09-20 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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