pyroguysr's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Back in Raliegh Well, I made it back to Raleigh from Indiana, via Fairfax, VA to visit with an MDRF friend, Caroline. As the drive home was slow due to the Interstates in Southern Indiana being closed because of 12 to 15 inches of snow falling, the drive back was through freezing rain and creeping (for me) along the various toll roads at a piddly 55 mph (I'm normally doing 70 to 80 mph). Leaving Indiana and my old home was a curious mixture of sadness, nostalgia, relief and... and what? The feelings all seem to escape me. I go back there mainly to revisit the few things left I still get joy from: visiting with my son, shooting professional fireworks shows and attending the old writers groups. I got to do all three along with visiting with some friends, but I didn't get to see all the friends I wanted to. I missed my friends, the Spencers as well as Kathy Roe, which bothered me a bit. There just wasn't enough time to see them all. I wasn't as bothered by being back there and having memories rush up at my face and clobber my psyche. It was sad, though, because I now realize that my ex and I are simply good friends. I mean, we shared a lot of life together. Yes, I'm glad that we ARE good friends, but I still carry a lot of guilt because I try hard to keep my promises... and one promise I made to her was that I "wanted to grow old together" with her. And there I failed miserably. Other than that, I got to blow stuff up for a wedding on the 31st and see a couple other fireworks shows. Actually see them this time, not just catch an occasional glimpse. It was interesting and yet, boring. There's no adrenaline rush like you get from shooting them. But I satisfied a "craving" for a few more months. God help me if I pass a Shelton's on the way down to Florida, though... heheheh! Had a party on January 1 with all the "kids" from our crew and it's kind of startling to see that they've all grown up over the past 13 years we've been doing this. They were all in 6th grade when they asked me (through my son) if they could come "help." Now, one is off to Iraq with the Army National Guard, another is married and yet another is GETTING married... damn, I'm old! I went to my writers group in Highland... the one that published the book (BLATANT PLUG: I've 3 stories and a couple poems in it... 8 copies still available at $19.95 from the Highland Indiana Borders - Entitled "Between The Pages"). Saw many old, familiar faces and a few new ones. Larry Ginensky, one of my mentors, appears to have aged quite a bit since last year. I'm thinking he may have had a stroke. A brilliant man, I love him dearly still, even if he can be a crotchety old S.O.B. from Brooklyn at times! *grin* But now he's a shell of his former self. *sigh* The group had their holiday party the same day/time as my Pyro party, so I didn't get to go. Again, I will miss my son. I continue to "clean" things out of my old house and hugged my dear, dear oaks, hoping to absorb some strength from them. I found an old essay that my son wrote in his freshman year of high school. Evidently I helped him type it up, though I don't really remember it. I cried as I read it and very much considered bringing it back with me, but my ex saw me crying and asked what I was reading. She cried too... Kept it for my son, which was OK with me. Saw Christopher's new place where he and his bride now call home. They have a psychotic kitten that does all the amusing things that kittens do. Provided hours of comic relief for us all. My son is doing much better than I would expect and has some definite goals. I wish him all the luck and determination in fulfilling them. Drove out to visit some MDRF friends that live in Fairfax, VA. Only got to see one of them and that was the lovely Caroline who had caught a cold from her siblings when she went to visit family. *laughs* After she rescued me from the twisted streets of Fairfax, I nursed her back to some semblance of health with a large dose of Polish Pennicillin (i.e., chicken soup - home made). She was off to work today, but we had a nice talk. (Missed you, Katie!). The drive down to Raliegh was fairly uneventful except for the fact that my car is making noises that whisper "wheel bearing" to me. Gawd, I hope not! Not until after I get down to Florida, please!!! I've a whole bunch of stuff on my computer that I will post here in the future - and nothing... NOTHING on the tsunami. That's been talked about to the point where I either get boiling mad at what some bureaucrats have said or I am just tired of hearing about it... so you won't be reading my thoughts on it. I'm now off to do some quiet meditating and then make some calls. Awesome... read the previous entry, OK? 7:15 p.m. - 2005-01-05 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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