pyroguysr's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Hard Boiled Sentimentalist A certain female has re-entered my head over the past two days. I'm sensing loneliness and depression over her being "friendless." And it pisses me off that my own psychic line back to her saying "It's your own damn fault, now leave me alone!" isn't working. And it pisses me off that, if anyone were to ask me who I might still be in love with, I would reply: her. Yes, even after the bullshit she pulled four years ago this month. Thankfully, the hurt and pain has dulled significantly over the past four years, to be replaced only by mild bitterness and anger towards her, but I hate that she still dwells in my thoughts. I also hate her for the fact that I can't feel anything towards the many other females in my life other than I "like" them. No sexual attraction at all. Ah hell. It's probably better this way. I want (and need) to focus on my novels. "Hard-Boiled Mysteries" are hot now, so I should be able to get these published if I can get one or two finished by this Spring. Like me, my main character has no luck with women. 5:27 p.m. - 2006-01-21 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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