pyroguysr's Diaryland Diary

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SHELL

I'm watching Witch Hunter Robin for the third time (which is probably contributing to my depression a great deal). I'm as addicted to that series as Kat is to FireFly. If I could get a copy of the opening song "SHELL" by Bana, I swear, I'd probably play it over and over.

As it is, with each episode, I have been reading along with the words, trying to revive my memory of learning Japanese some 30 years ago. I don't know how well that's going to work. I had a cheat-sheet of Irish-Gaelic phrases with me at fair and I couldn't remember the simplist of them without looking!

I'm feeling rather frustrated this past week. Among the things happening was that a job I posted for - a job I found on Careers.com - was "perfect" for me. It was exactly what I wanted to do... work as an Admin Assistant in a Financial Planning office. And it turns out it wasn't a real job. It was a "test" that Careers.com put up and forgot to take down. Goddamnit!

I'm tired. My son's buying a house. My wife has the house I loved. Two friends are buying houses... and I have little or no prospect of ever owning a house again.

I'm trying to remain focused and keep the eye-on-the-prize - meaning my writing and the fact that I know I'm a damned good writer and that I have two really good novels almost finished and two more with grand potential - I have to stay focused and concentrate on getting them published. I will get them published, will get them out by the end of this year to publishers and I will keep a positive attitude about it. But it's like riding a monorail... there ain't much forgiveness from side-to-side.

1:08 a.m. - 2006-04-14

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