pyroguysr's Diaryland Diary

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75 Things

75 THINGS YOU DON'T KNOW ABOUT ME (AND PROBABLY SHOULDN'T)


 




  •                      I like ties.  I like wearing ties.  I like jobs that require you to wear ties.  I like suits and wearing sport coats as well.


  •                      I hate the current "Frat-House slob" look of bowling shirts and wrinkled slacks that make you look like you just got out of bed and were too lazy to dress for a week.


  •                      Ditto for those bad haircuts where your hair is sticking up all over the place like you've never owned a comb in your life and, if you did, you were too lazy to use it.


  •                      Double ditto for the shaved-head look.  You're fuckin balding.  Get over it.  Looking like Lex Luthor doesn't make it any more attractive - especially on a white guy.  You just look like a Nazi.


  •                      And girls, the "I washed my hair but didn't brush it out" look is just as unattractive.  The only time I want you to look like that is after we've had five hours of sex, thank you!  Then get your ass outta my bed and brush that hair before we go out in public!


  •                      I like SOME makeup on women, but I don't want someone that went to the Tammy Faye Bakker school of troweling it on!  Eyeliner, blush and lipstick should do just fine.  If you need more, you are either just old (accept your age), you smoke too much (which ages your skin faster), you've tanned too much (which ages your skin even faster), or you've entered a Kabuki Acting School.  Don't.


  •                      I don't like wet, sloppy kisses right away.  I like to build UP to that French kiss!


  •                      I don't respect people that DEMAND my respect, I give it to those that earn it.


  •                      Just because you spent $40,000+ on that [INSERT EXPENSIVE LUXURY CAR/SUV HERE] doesn't mean you own the damn piece of road under your tires and does NOT give you license to drive like an asshole.  Ride up my bumper and I'll show you how an OLD FART drives (and I'll either own a new car or lots of your money because I just HAD to slam on the breaks for that kitten that darted in front of me!  So what if we happened to be on the Interstate at the time!)


  •                      Turning on your ignition does NOT mean you automatically dial your cell phone.  Wait until you have pulled out of your fucking space!


  •                      You're in line, in a restaurant/public space; turn the fucking cell phone OFF!    You are NOT impressing me with "how important you are" and you're just being rude.  Don't give your wife one of those "walkie-talkie" types of phones and allow her to use them in a freakin restaurant either.  That's annoying!  It's NOT THAT IMPORTANT!  And do NOT get pissed at me for "listening" to your conversation and making snarky comments! You're not really giving me a choice!  And, you look like an idiot when you're having an argument out in front of the shops.  Take the Bluetooth earpiece out and converse with those around you - ESPECIALLY in a restaurant!  You are NOT Borg and I will NOT be assimilated!


  •                      I like sex with the right kind of woman


  •                      The right kind of woman is relatively slim, has small breasts, long hair or a nice ass


  •                      I'm a "switch" for those of you that knows what that means.


  •                      I could never be homosexual or even bi.  I have a horrible gag reflex.  And I'm not turned on by a guys dingle-dangle or his pects.


  •                      I am deathly afraid of heights in open areas.  I'm fine as long as I'm enclosed, though.


  •                      I abhor Budweiser, Miller and Schlitz.  The cheapest beer I'll drink is Old Style... but only because it's a "local" brew and my cousin, Tim, provides it for free at fireworks shows.  I prefer Honey Brown, Sam Adams Lager, Harp, Guinness or Leinies.


  •                      I like single-malt Scotch, but I prefer Irish whiskey.  Except for Jameson's.  It tastes like they added diesel fuel to it.  Yes, I'm a whiskey snob.


  •                      I like certain wines with my meals, but NOT anything from a box or a can and certainly not anything that's carbonated without the words "champagne" or "asti spumante" on it.


  •                      Those silly, foo-foo flavored malt beverage drinks are for spoiled, sissy kids that never got past drinking soda pop.  If you're going to DRINK a poison, TASTE the poison, damn it!


  •                      I'm a sentimental romantic


  •                      I have a sadistic streak - especially when it comes to stunning females.  Thank the goddess that they usually leave me too tongue-tied to act on my impulses!


  •                      I have threatened to shoot someone.  With a gun.  Pointed at them.  I intended to follow through.  They knew I meant it and left in a hurry.


  •                      I don't care about money, but I desperately want to be wealthy


  •                      I like to travel, so see the previous statement


  •                      I'd love to own a motorhome and just travel around the country meeting people (again, see the previous two statements)


  •                      Just because I'm nice to you doesn't always mean I like you.


  •                      Just because I'm NOT nice to you, doesn't mean I don't like or respect you.


  •                      I WILL argue about politics


  •                      I won't belong to any religion beginning with a capital letter


  •                      I am NOT a christian


  •                      I hate labels


  •                      My favorite flavor is chocolate


  •                      My favorite ice cream flavors are mint chocolate chip and chocolate chip cookie dough


  •                      Can you guess what my favorite cookie is?


  •                      I would still like to learn to fly a plane


  •                      I want to own a sailboat


  •                      I love riding horses


  •                      I'm fine with dogs, but I'm more a cat person


  •                      I believe our "War on Islamic Fascist Terrorists" is just... as in "just nuke them."


  •                      I don't give a fuck what Europe thinks.  They've been "has beens" on the world scene for the past 70 years.


  •                      Pacifists puzzle me


  •                      As do Liberals, because they are neither if you infringe on their OWN personal bits of turf.


  •                      I've written "dirty stories" for money


  •                      Still do


  •                      I don't like horror or vampire stories/novels, yet I've had two short stories published. 


  •                      I wonder why all the insane, powerful, pagan people on TV and in the movies are always wealthy and beautiful, but all the ones I know in real life are poor, kind and considerate, but not particularly attractive?


  •                      I can't understand why people that wear cowboy hats, sing about love, life, patriotism, love of country and family values are considered "ignorant rednecks"by the liberal media elite when power-hungry, syndical-anarchist punks like Billie Jo Armstrong of Green Day or fascist rap-gangster punks like P-Diddy or other exploitative, mysoginistic, murderous rappers are considered "hip" and "cool" by these self-same "loving, open-minded" people.  Then again, I can't understand why liberals keep re-electing alcoholic, mysogenistic murderers and lying, opportunistic veterans to office either.  And actually LIKE them.


  •                      I don't like TV sports as much as I used to.  Probably because I've not had anyone to share it with for awhile


  •                      I'm actually quite introverted.  I learned to force my extrovert by getting involved in theatre and being in plays.


  •                      I am always in awe of nature.


  •                      I love watching lightening crossing a prairie


  •                      I've gone through a typhoon on a Navy Ship.  It took three days.  It wasn't fun


  •                      I once spoke conversational Tagalog (Filippino), some Japanese (with an Okinawan accent) and broken Chinese (Cantonese with a Taiwan accent).


  •                      Speaking of language, I pick up accents easily.  I'm not making fun of you, it's just how my brain is wired


  •                      I'm an anime junkie


  •                      I collect really bad jokes, horrible puns and bad limricks


  •                      I believe in faeries and elves and such, not that you care.  I believe they are from another dimension, not another planet.  Again, not that you care.


  •                      I believe in reincarnation


  •                      I DON'T believe we are the only ones in the universe.  My god and goddess are not WASTEFUL gods!


  •                      I believe christianity is a polytheism, just like all the others of its time and has perpetrated a lie on it's followers just to make it seem "different."


  •                      I believe in polyamory, but I'm having too difficult a time just finding the ONE right person, let alone many.


  •                      I believe in a very small government, a small but solid central government and that the 10th amendment should be obeyed wholly


  •                      I don't mind religious displays on public property... as long as ANY religion can have a display without causing an uproar or vandalism by the believers in another dogma.


  •                      I learn by doing easier than by theory.  Yes, I'm a "hands on" sorta guy.


  •                      People usually think I'm more confident than I actually am. 


  •                      You can bribe me with dark chocolate


  •                      You can also bribe me with sex, but chocolate is less messy


  •                      Fantasies rarely live up to reality.  I don't expect to fulfill most of my fantasies.


  •                      I AM a D.O.M. ... but it stands for "dirty old man."


  •                      I'm generally bored by TV.  I grew up with 4 channels of nothing on.  I now have 70+ channels... of nothing on.  I miss locally produced shows vs the syndicated ones.


  •                      I once wanted to be a race car driver, a pilot, a secret agent, a drifter and a writer.  I'm still working on the latter.


  •                      I've been told I have an "old soul"


  •                      I like folk music, I like bluegrass, I like Roy Rogers type cowboy music, but I'm not particularly fond of country.


  •                      I like antiques.  But I like what I like.  I'm not real big on "collections" of a certain type.  I don't care if they "match" or "go together."  If I like it, and it's a bargain, I'll buy it.


  •                      I don't think I want to add anything more.

9:07 p.m. - 2006-10-07

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