pyroguysr's Diaryland Diary

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Smell the Fear

Of all the blogging sites I'm on, this one is, perhaps, the least read. I have one, maybe three people, that post here on any regular basis, so I guess I can vent here now.

I'm angry, frustrated and I'm on the verge of a breakdown. First, it was my wonderful employer of three years screwing me over at the end of last year by cutting my hours and then replacing not only me, but two other "contract" workers (one of which was his nephew!) with two bits of eye-candy that he could bully more easily.

He and I got into it back in July when he was upset that I wasn't getting everything done that he wanted. I told him, "You're giving me 50 to 60 hours worth of work, but only scheduling me for 35. What do you expect me to do, take it home with me?"

"Yes," was his reply.

"Then put me on salary," I told him. "As a contractor, I have to charge for my time and you won't agree to pay me for more than 40 hours of work."

For some reason, that angered him. But he made the rules when he hired me on a 'contract' basis. No benefits, no vacation pay, nothing. Just an hourly wage for services performed.

He didn't plan time well. Everything was an emergency that had to be done NOW. Everything also only took "ten minutes" to do. He would spend more time explaining things to me than it would have for him to simply do it himself if it only took "ten minutes."

But he knew things never took that little of time.

He also expected me to write newspaper articles for him (I was hired in to set up, clean up and manage his database for him) as well as a myriad of other things. When I pointed out that I was hired to be a database manager, he would get upset. Yes, he treated us all this way. I stood up to him because I don't like people that use intimidation to get things done.

I wasn't really happy there and I'm a big believer in the idea that, if you're not happy, go someplace where you are! In three years of working there, I can count on one hand how many compliments I received for my work and innovations... and still have three fingers left over.

Maybe I'm better off without the stress of that job, but it led to a cascade effect of things happening:

My son and his girlfriend moved into the house with me to help with the rent and with the eventual expectation of him buying the place.

The basement floods regularly each time it rains and we've spent hundreds of dollars in time, products and equipment to drain it each time. We also began improvements on the house, given that we had a verbal agreement with my brothers that we would have 6 months to obtain financing. We just couldn't get them to agree on a price. So, instead of 6 months, they gave us three.

Two brothers live 1000 miles in either direction (one in Delaware, the other in Texas) and they've "been monitoring home prices in the area via various Realtor services" and felt that the house was worth substantially more than the $100k we were offering. Their reasoning was that the house across the street (brick home, in better condition with a finished basement) was on the market for $180k.

"But, that house has been for sale at that price for over four years now, mainly because THEY have overpriced it!" I told them. That didn't sway them. They've also disputed the $140k appraisal I had done in 2008, just prior to the major flooding we had. They are going by the judgment of one realtor that is a "friend of the family" and who, I think, doesn't know the whole story of the house.

But, rather than talking to us about it, they went and hired a LAWYER to evict us.

Now, all three of my brothers have... let's say... a drinking problem. It's the reason I don't talk with them much. After 7 pm, you're calling someone who has slurred speech and doesn't make sense, but rambles on for a half hour, trying to make a point that they never get to and gets upset when you either hurry them along or you tell them, "You know, I have to go. Call me about this when you're sober."

I've had several friends that were alcoholics and all of them exhibited this behavior. I drink socially, but I don't drink a lot. I certainly don't drink to get drunk and I don't drink to escape any problems. A good bottle of booze will last me 6 months or more. A bottle of wine doesn't get opened unless I have a few folks over for dinner because, more often than not, I end up pouring out half the bottle when it goes bad in the fridge - because I don't drink on a daily basis.

But I don't like drunks and I don't like the fact that they feel they can't communicate unless they ARE drunk. They aren't rational people.

But, we've moved out. This isn't an ideal time for me, because the part-time job I'm working barely pays the bills (yes, I'm looking for another) and I've had to rent a room because I simply can't afford an apartment.

I'm doing everything that is contrary to my beliefs. I'm probably at the point where I have to seek governmental assistance - food stamps and possibly welfare - in order to make ends meet. I hate this feeling. I want out of this area and I want to be closer to Mary-Claude... yes, even though that didn't work out as expected (should have listened to my I Ching and Rune readings), she is still my love and we still have very strong feelings for each other. She's helping me in as many ways as she can.

But for now, my options are limited and I'm not happy. I'm putting up a brave front and I just needed to vent somewhere where most folks wouldn't see it. I am actively trying to change my situation and working hard to keep up a positive attitude. I just needed to get some of this anger out of my head.

If you ARE reading this, just send me as much positive energy as you can muster. I thank you in advance for it. I realize that many people out there have it worse than me and that I have the background and expertise to go forward, but when I look at the statistics, it's hard not to get a little discouraged:

There are two age groups that have the highest unemployment rate... the 16 to 21 yr old at a little more than 19% unemployment and the 55 and above at almost 17%. I fall into the latter and that frightens me.

So, okay, my "brothers." Sell the freakin' house and cut me my check. Then leave me alone. I could care less if I ever hear from any of you again.

1:30 p.m. - 2010-04-13

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

previous - next

latest entry

about me

archives

notes

DiaryLand

contact

random entry

other diaries:

minnapop
sbsneech
mrscoble
loversvanity
jellyrose
buttwhore
zalitar
newsoulie
orsimblossim
fleureurope
hissandtell
secretinside
elgorbo
nightdragon
grassyknoll
bindyree
lady-frenzy
breakthedark
nilliem
bettyford
sketty
scotvalkyrie
kungfukitten
joiedv
nimbus-
off-book
tudor-diva
petmykittie
chasngghosts
onewithout
degausser
prisscoble