pyroguysr's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Curmudgeonly I guess I can type here because there just isn't anyone on my list anymore that really reads this stuff. If I put this on FB, I'll just post it and then regret it. I'm giving up on relationships. The person I moved out here for... that I spent all that money to be here for... just isn't interested in putting all that much into the relationship. It all seems so forced and fake. But my depression is starting to take a toll on me. I've a huge and thick emotional wall up now. I don't trust or believe anyone when they tell me that they like me. I don't believe them and I'm becoming something of a hermit. I literally have to force myself to attend events, both spiritual and social. My job is at a dead-end and I'm not getting any nibbles on a job that will pay me enough to pay my bills. I am truly frightened that I won't even be able to move because I won't be able to afford it. I want to see my son and my granddaughters before they all get too old. I'm fearing for my health and my memory because the former tells me I'm heading for a heart attack from the stress and the latter just seems to be going. If I don't write it down, I don't remember it. I'm tired, I'm cranky, I'm horny and I'm in need of a hug and shoulder rub, damn it. 9:18 p.m. - 2014-12-06 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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