pyroguysr's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- - This is getting worse. It's freakin' beautiful outside and I have to FORCE myself to leave my cave. I actually had anxiety attacks when I went to take a walk in the park. Will have to tell the shrink about it next week. I may also be losing my job over a stupid mistake on my part. Should be job-searching and instead, all I want is to curl up in a fetal position in bed. Tried some stream-of-conscious or "free" writing and, when I read it later on, discovered that one thing I really miss is being touched by someone who loves me. I miss those gentle caresses and short little hugs. There are so many things going wrong in my life right now that I can't even begin to set them down. All of them are serious and all stem from the fact that I can't seem to find anyone willing to pay a living wage to anyone or, if a commission job, to find a way to make above base pay. I feel like I've been stunned by a taser. Everything is just a little off-kilter or out-of-sync and I'm just treading water, waiting to drown. Goddamn it, life, either let go of my leg or fuckin' pull me under so that my spirit can be at peace. 6:30 p.m. - 2015-05-08 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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