pyroguysr's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Membership Revoked I don�t belong anymore. For the past three days I�ve stood in my oak grove and tried to recharge my spiritual energy� the energy I�ve always gotten from my �sacred place.� The energy I�ve always gotten from my �prayer place.� Now I�m truly homeless. The feeling I got was �this isn�t your place anymore. You don�t belong here.� I feel nothing but overwhelming sadness now that I�m in my home area. I�ve had so much creativity here� and yet, such a lousy time with love in this area. I�ve had all my major heartbreaks here. And yet� so much output! I�m feeling very isolated. I can�t even begin to describe how bad it feels� in fact, I don�t want to. I�m trying hard not to dwell on it, but it�s all pervasive. I�m here in Indiana to shoot fireworks. I�ll be doing that tomorrow (Thursday) then Saturday and Sunday. Then on Monday I head back to Raleigh. The following weekend we head out to Philly for AnthroCon, so Jack continues to be busy. I hope I will be, if to just keep my mind off shit. The drugs ain�t workin� anymore! Well, it's time to leave the library... She has just walked in with her brood in tow. I may just be able to duck out without any of them seeing me... 3:14 p.m. - 2004-06-30 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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