pyroguysr's Diaryland Diary

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One Foot In The Grave

From the BBC comedy "One Foot In The Grave" (dedicated to AnnaPee for her comments about me in the notes. *grins at her disarmingly, but with smug superiority* Also dedicated to Mona and me - with apologies to her for taking advantage of our conversation tonight and poking this little bit of fun at it - Happy Birthday, Mona mi!):

They say I might as well face the truth:
That I am just too long in the tooth.
So, I'm an OAP* and weak kneed (* Old Age Pensioner)
But I'm not yet quite gone to seed.

I may be over the hill now that I am retired,
Fading away but I'm not yet expired--
Clapped out, rundown, too old to save: * (Clapped out- a British expression meaning useless )
One foot in the grave!

They say I might as well face the truth
That I am just too long in the tooth
I've started to deteriorate
And now I'm passed my own sell by date.

Oh I'm no spring chicken it's true
I have to pop my teeth in to chew
And my old knees are started to knock
I've just got too many miles on the clock.

So I'm wrinkly, crinkly, set in my ways
It's true that my body has seen better days
But give me half a chance and I can STILL misbehave
One foot in the grave.

Random Observations:

A few weeks back as we were heading back down to Raliegh after a week at the RenFest, we came upon a young woman driving a red convertible. Of course, the license plates read "Blonde", were upside down and, even though the stickers were in the right places, they too were upside down. Didn't get to ask if her name was "Donna." (Those of you that listen to "Car Talk" on NPR will get that little inside joke.)

I've started making leather mug covers... and I'm pretty good at it, I think.

Kat and I found a slightly different route off of I-95, getting off at Fredricksburg at route 218 and taking that over to 301... it has a roller-coaster "wheeeee!" spot! *grins*

For all of you sleeping in nice comfy homes, think of me next week when I'm sleeping at the booth in "campout" conditions. It got down to 38 degrees last week during the evening... And I have to walk three blocks to get to the john in the middle of the night!

Squirrels are cute and funny and will eat any nuts you put out for them... however, they also get into your food. I no longer have Cheerios to eat in the morning.

Rennies like to have bawdy parties. We had an erotic food making and eating party. People brough all sorts of interesting dishes such as a pate boob, a sausage choo-choo going into a vaginal tunnel and various cakes, rice and other things shaped like genitalia. Rennies tend to like big boobs, so I was gonna make little ones that I liked out of strawberries and Hostess Sno Balls, but evidently either Hostess doesn't make them anymore or folks in the Greater Baltimore/Annapolis area don't eat hairy, boob-shaped, creme-filled cupcakes. Then our hot lil redheaded friend, Fluffy, not only won the cherry-stem knot tying contest for the second year in a row, but she pulled off a hat-trick by winning the bananna peeling contest. She had some pretty stiff competition as well! *grins*

We played badmitton at the same party. I wonder if that shuttlecock is still on the roof of O'Shucks...

Ladies seem to appreciate roses, but they love shoulder and back massages more... now if I could just find someone to give ME one...

And lastly, yes, our trash wench was in our lane this last week. Didn't stop in for her massage though. It was busy!

Puns tend to fly fast and furious at our booth. Something that Gumby said stuck with me. One of the accessories that we use for the dragons are little 3 inch bunny rabbits and teddy bears... so I got an idea to make pins out of them and sell them. That way, I could either suggest that a guy buy his lady one of the two and she could either have a "chest hare" or go "bear chested" at faire. We found little kitties too and bought some to make pins for the guys. If your mind is in the gutter like mine is, then you know the next logical step we took that horribly punny joke.

There's more where this came from over at my LiveJournal page. I'm PyroGuySr there too. I'm soooo original.

And nope... no political comments. I'm in a blackout period. *grins evilly* Having said that, I will now prove myself wrong and finish with two quotes from an old British SitCom from the 80's called, "Yes, Minister" as well as another just for April and Tariqua...

Bernard's Longest sentence in the series...,
Apparently, the fact that you needed to know was not known at the time that the now known need to know was known, therefore those that needed to advise and inform the Home Secretary perhaps felt the information he needed as to whether to inform the highest authority of the known information was not yet known and therefore there was no authority for the authority to be informed because the need to know was not, at that time, known or needed.

Reportedly, Sir Humprhey's longest sentence in the series...,

Well, it's clear that the committee has agreed that your new policy is a really excellent plan but in view of some of the doubts being expressed, may I propose that I recall that after careful consideration, the considered view of the committee was that while they considered that the proposal met with broad approval in principle, that some of the principles were sufficiently fundamental in principle and some of the considerations so complex and finely balanced in practice, that, in principle, it was proposed that the sensible and prudent practice would be to submit the proposal for more detailed consideration, laying stress on the essential continuity of the new proposal with existing principles, and the principle of the principle arguments which the proposal proposes and propounds for their approval, in principle.

THINGS TURN OUT WELL FOR THE POWERFUL WHEN THEY ARE SURROUNDED BY PEOPLE OF GREAT UNDERSTANDING WHO CAN GET THEM OUT OF THE TIGHT SITUATIONS WHERE THEIR IGNORANCE HAS PLACED THEM�Baltasar Gracian ( 1601- 1658)

Yes, April... you can use that last one for your next rant.

2:07 a.m. - 2004-10-13

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