pyroguysr's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Annie, Terrors and Tribulations OK, I've not been here in a while and I have people yelling at me. First off, I got a job. I'm a "database administrator" for a financial planning firm in Illinois. It's paying pretty good for the work I do and there are inklings that it may continue longer than the projected "month" of employment through the temp agency. I get to sit in a nice, quiet room, NOT answer phones (YAY) and listen to techno or "Ren Radio" while filling in the blanks. Second. NaNoWriMo: I was all geared up for it this year. I created a wonderful Mike Magee Action/mystery novel from it last year. But I'm tired of Mike... for right now. I wanted to do something different. I have 6 projects I've started in the past 6 days and none of them have the feel of "novel" to me. A friend suggested that I do a non-fiction book on the BDSM lifestyle, but I don't really feel all that qualified, though many people seem to think I know what I'm talking about. I need to figure it out before this weekend, that's for sure. I'm waaaaay behind. Mom's still driving me nuts. I come home, cook, clean, do laundry and she fights me over it because I don't do it HER way. (though, to be honest, she's done little things to try and make up for it) It's a constant tug-o-war there because, up until now, she's been supporting my ass. Now that I'm "gainfully employed" again, I have to start returning that favor AND paying back everyone else I owe. To top it off, my bro, Mike, from Texas, says he is NOW coming up for Turkey Day and bringing the entire clan PLUS one. Amber, the oldest daughter of his fiance, wants to bring a friend with her (why this friend isn't staying with HER 'rents for the Day is... well, I don't know). Anyway, I have to figure out where all these peeps are gonna sleep. And I know where they'll be during the day. Anime and the internet are in MY room. *sighs* This weekend... small little fireworks show in Whiting for Veterans Day. 21 gun salute is all. Will take all of 2 hours to put together, set up, fire and tear down. Should be done by 11. My "old" writers group is something of a disappointment after the Raleigh group and all the college "english lit" majors I had there. I won't go this Saturday, nor the next. But they like my stuff. Unfortunately, I don't need that ego boost, I need honest critique. I got that in Raleigh and it kept me humble. I miss those guys. The following Saturday, I have friends from Baltimore coming up to vend at the Midwest Fur Fest. Yes, a furry convention. Mistress Tiger (late of her 15 minute stint at fame on HGTV), her Llama (Allen), Gumby and Landon are coming, along with Tiger's sister, Ann. I want to take them to a nice Irish Pub and Restaurant I know of in Schaumburg. Besides, now that I'm working, I'll have money to do that! YAY! Lastly, I promised myself that I wouldn't get involved with anyone online anymore. I promised myself that for the past two years now. Oh, I'll flirt, I'll write you an erotic story or two, but fall in love? With ghosts? No.. No... no THANK you. But something's happened. I started chatting to this wonderful lady named Anniemarie that I've known, on-and-off for years, and we became good friends. Apparently it was noted that I was talking to her... a lot. And it was also noted that she had been known for being... aloof... to the other guys in the chatroom. Then, one day, we were goofing off and she made a smart remark so I pulled her over my virtual knee and gave her a spanking. She thanked me for the swat and asked for another... much to EVERYONE's surprise. I was immediately asked, "Are you two a couple now?" I don't know. Are we? Well, I guess... sorta. But this lady has a past. For the last 7 years she's been used and abused by guys that were supposedly "dominants 'in the lifestyle.'" In reality, they were sadists and assholes. Now, she's afraid of men for the most part - and yes, as much as she likes me, she falls apart in fear when I mention coming down to meet her. But she likes me, likes the way I treat her - online, at least. And I like her. A lot. I would put in my Literotica profile that I was looking for a "slim, petite, small-breasted (A or B cup) female that isn't psychotic about their size (or lack thereof)" This usually got a lot of laughs, but it was exactly what I was looking for. Redheads, Goths or Asians made it a plus. She's all of the profile and Goth (though, in reality, she's a "country & western" gal - and, damn it, has me listening to country music!!) She's originally from England. Daddy was in the British Navy and spent the last 15 yrs of his service in Oz. My lady was an oops (Daddy was 50+ when she was born, mom was in her 40's) and both parents passed away a few years back. Long story short, she was sent over here by her ex boyfriend to be with a new boyfriend (now an ex). He booted her out after awhile and friends took her in. She has some back problems and just wasn't good enough for his sadistic tendencies. OK, I hear the skeptics out there. She could be giving me a song-and-dance. But, I have this mental connection with her, you see. Before I knew all this crap, I had that connection. I feel she IS telling the truth. I just don't know if I've bitten off more than I can chew with this one. I'm no psychologist. I have enough of a hard time dealing with my OWN problems. I wasn't looking for this, you see. I was content, even resigned to going through the rest of my life without someone special at my side (hey, I've become VERY picky in my old age) and I've always had this vision that I would be... well, not LONELY, but alone... in my twilight. *laughs* I write my best stuff when I'm miserable, believe me! And now this lady comes along... but she's not in the best of health. I'm actually more afraid of losing her to illness than of her getting bored with me. And I'm most afraid of losing her before I even get to meet her. And I'm really not sure how to handle it. So, now you've had a peek into the mess that is my brain over the past three months. Now you know why I haven't been writing all that much. 11:57 a.m. - 2006-11-07 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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